Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the disease.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, says instead he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the disease progresses.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I process things differently, and after I have the information, it's easier," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the issue, a series of scans showed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel unwell
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I'm still competent to performing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of diagnosis, as ingestion and inhalation become harder.
Therapy can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody explained the focus was staying in the moment.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly directed on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been truly fortunate that the only real decision I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those years back."
Sportsman Connection
Elite competitors are disproportionately affected by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by restricting the air accessible and causing harm to nerve cells, consistent, intense physical activity can trigger the illness in those already predisposed.
Rugby Career
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, persistent style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a workout confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and began participating in physical contacts.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the line-out in the critical moment of play, creating a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing System
Moody has previously told Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a few other former team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the moment, just having that sort of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he commented.
"The sport is such a excellent community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to assist in any way they can and I await having those talks."
